“After Independents’ weekend, a beautiful wedding, another wonderful wedding in New York for family, Mosey and I stole off for some private time at our favorite steam-release venue, the Big Easy.
“I have not been able to schedule a day for delivery since the day in April when JB arrived at the shack.
“Last Friday was our last night in New Orleans. I decided to go for broke in releasing steam.
“We found ourselves the perfect r&b venue deep down Bourbon Street. We knocked back Hurricanes till we had the whole place doing the Electric Slide and Cupid’s Shuffle. Then the shots came. I did not know they were 180 proof till the next day when I tracked down the waitress to ask what it was that blindsided me.
“At one point I bolted for the door for some air and space; unfortunately without informing the love of my life, who never would have allowed the following to happen. A kid was dribbling a basketball down the crowded street. You may have heard the racist joke about what happens when you roll a basketball down the street in certain neighborhoods.
“I was raised on hoops and instinctively went and checked* the kid. We both put on ball handling displays while checking one another, and of course talking a lot of trash.
“Some horseback cops showed up and told me it was time to go home. I told them I had to fetch my wife first and headed back for the club. The doorman wouldn’t let me in with no shirt (which I stripped for the hoopless basketball contest). The cops didn’t appreciate my pit stop and pinned me against the wall with their horses. I didn’t tamely submit, though I never laid a hand on anyone.
“I spent the next fourteen hours in the Hole at the Orleans Parish Prison.
“I had approximately 50 cell mates. Most were in for far more serious raps than the drunk and disorderly misdemeanors I was booked on.
“I annoyed and entertained for the first few hours while I was still high as a kite. When it sunk in that I didn’t know where Mosey was and she didn’t know where I was I snapped into sobriety and anxiety.
“When I was quietly lamenting about having no means to find Mosey, a particularly scary looking twenty-something kid with dreds approached me. He was up on his third drug charge (guaranteeing hard time in Angola and guaranteeing disqualification for any meaningful employment for the rest of his life). He gently took me aside and two-way commed me into some rationality.
“There wasn’t a single criminal in that cell whom I did not get along with.
“I have a motion pending to expunge the record in the case. It was done for the SOLE purpose of preventing the church from using it in court.
“I have said it before that I am no angel. I have drawn inspiration from a wide variety of sources. One of them is social activist and rapper Chuck D of Public Enemy.
“I went down for a spell, but I am not out by any means.
*checked = The process by which someone puts another individual in their place verbally or physically either in a joking manner or a serious beatdown – (urbandictionary.com)