WHAT MY SQUIRREL STRATEGY IS BASED ON
by Marty Ratbum
Part 3: My Kind of Tech
In alignment with my PR and marketing strategy, I don’t hold any grudges and I hope they (the riffraff) accept my sincerest 1.1 apologies and forgive me.
Though it is going to take a series of articles to tell the full story of how I became a squirrel, I do want to tell some of my technical crimes and suppressive acts which are not known to aspiring squirrels.
It has to be understood in stating these that I am not insinuating that I am taking any responsibility in the least. I can’t do that because it might look like I am coming to my senses and that isn’t going to be good for business.
(I’ll be brief, but since these were written down, they’re easy to remember. However, I do have a case of amnesia and total irresponsibility but this is one of the misfortunes and liabilities of being a squirrel. So forgive me for “not remembering” those crimes I don’t want others to know about.)
Here’s what I do remember:
I used covert and devious means to hide my out tech, such as by avoiding sending the person to the Examiner after a “session” when people didn’t know I had taken the person into a “session.” I called it a “session” but it was really an interrogation.
I falsely reported in the case folder what I’d done in session, avoiding making video tapes of my sessions so that the quality of my TRs and metering could not be inspected and often did not turn in the folder to a Case Supervisor at all. In one instance, I gave 30 consecutive sessions to a person without once sending the folder to a Case Supervisor who didn’t even know I was doing this. That is something I am very proud of. Boy, did I show them! Those nasty little Tech and Qual riffraff that want to check the standardness of sessions and tell me I’m violating HCOBs can all just go to hell. I know they are really just trying to do me in. Anyway, who needs HCOBs when you are a true independent thinker and can create new tech? Not me, that’s for sure!
I started doing metered ethics interviews on auditors and pulled withholds as part of that. I was doing this with no C/Ses. When C/Ses found out what I was doing, I was given flunks and crams and rather than get this sorted out I just ignored the C/Ses and continued doing interviews and withhold pulling without C/Ses, and ignored any crams and instructions not to do so from the C/Ses. I sure showed them! And the pcs too!
This is what I practice today and I feel free and more independent than ever before because I have no C/S, no D of P, no Examiner (what a relief that is!), no Cramming Officer and, thank god, no nosey Ethics Officer. You cannot comprehend how free I feel to do anything I like on anyone’s case without some of these evil riffraff shoving KSW down my throat and trying to do me in.
I “mishandled” one guy by taking a break during one of my ethics interviews and took him outside and whacked him. I don’t know how it happened but he ended up with a black eye. My memory fails me on exactly what happened, but I think my fist must have done it. I remember something happened to my voice where I screamed and hollered at him. But hey, I did it under the guise of applying Ethics.
Then there was the time I “interrupted” an interview by entering unannounced and uninvited that shocked both the interviewer and interviewee out of their wits. I took the guy outside and shoved him three times against the wall and threatened to punch him out if he didn’t start coming clean. That little riffraff thought I was going to help him. How naïve can you get!
And that brings to mind a time when I interrupted another interview, when I again entered the interview unannounced, pulled the guy out of his chair, shoved him against a wall, ripped off his name and post tab and ripped his shirt. And to cap it, I removed the guy from post. I false reported and lied to others who questioned me on my actions and I surely painted the guy as a bad hat. I felt good about that. Especially because I know that if he really did get better, he’d be more powerful and then would kill me.
I wanted the “goods” when I did interviews. I was a criminal mind let loose because I considered everyone as evil and f___ed up as myself. Well, they are. You can quote me on that one and have it in writing. This has been one of my successful datums: ALWAYS CONSIDER OTHERS ARE LIKE YOU.
I don’t recall how many times I did it but I shouted, screamed and hollered at people on the meter. I can’t be specific on how many times I did this because I get confused with how many times I did this off the meter with people. Also, I know it was really my voice that did it, not me.
I was not trained as a C/S (and never did a C/S course—I’m above that) and programmed a folder to do a specific rundown. I did not tell anyone about this especially the auditor. I got an auditor to do it. He thought I was a trained C/S and he feared not complying to me. Guess what, he had the audacity to tell me he wasn’t trained to audit the rundown. Well, I can tell you this—he sure did do the rundown anyway and I made sure of it.
I invented my own version of a PTS interview, taking a procedure that contains 6 questions in one HCOB and writing a form with 69 different questions, and then running this on staff. No one knew I did it and if someone questioned me on it I treated them with disdain and intimidation. They thought they could make me follow HCOBs. Hah! I showed those little standard tech riffraff.
I don’t know how many false floating needles I called when the pc was sad or dejected but boy did I call them. It was a false report and High Crime but so what. But I knew better because I was the expert. And now I can do it all the time without worrying about any of those damn Examiners or C/Ses looking over my shoulder. Yes sir, as an “independent” I can falsify F/Ns anytime I please. The people I’m auditing now don’t mind, either—they know their withholds are safe with me!
I don’t know how many people I have audited or done ethics interviews on that had to be cleaned up but it wouldn’t surprise me if it was all of them. So what? They’re all riffraff anyway. I must admit that I took great satisfaction when I beat the hell out of someone to get a withhold. Boy, you never saw case change as fast as that. But I can’t do that now as that is not part of my PR and marketing strategy. Now I’m the “healer” and “peacemaker.” Get it? Peace to you brother.
I figured if the technical and ethics personnel interviewed all the preclears and persons I had audited and done ethics interviews on, they must have had to do a major clean up with all my interjected comm cycle additives, repeated instances of challenging the pc’s answer and even shouting at the person during the “session.”
There is no question that I had been a pretense for a long time when I was on staff. I created and purveyed that I was a standard tech zealot but I have even now “moved it on up a little higher”—I am an independent tech guru. It’s easy. I don’t have to study anything or do any drilling. I can just listen to people natter and tell them their needle is floating, pocket some money, quote from some philosophers and songs and have a barbecue. Now I know I’ve really made it.
I have even told pcs, at least three to my recollection, that I was “not interested” in what they had to say. Boy, you never saw a pc cave so fast but I knew I could false report an F/N and at least I was VGIs, even if the pc wasn’t.
I audited NED for OTs without having done the NED for OTs course by skipping entire theory sections of the checksheet and all the drills then stopped well before the end of the checksheet. I sure showed them!
I never did any internships so I definitely didn’t have any valid certificates, which is totally appropriate to being a squirrel. But hey, who needs certs from somebody else when you can create your own tech?
None of these did I take responsibility for then and none will I take responsibility for now. It’s not part of my PR strategy.
Sometimes I may claim I do take responsibility but that’s also part of my PR strategy.
Now maybe you can understand why I have to viciously attack and accuse others of what I myself did. It makes squirrel sense, doesn’t it.
Well that’s my squirrel PR and marketing strategy!
Thank you very much.
“The motivations for these acts are a psychotic computation for self preservation: keep enough chaos and threat stirred up in the environment, make myself appear to be a solution to it instead of the instigator of it, and lots of people go down and remain in turmoil while I go unrecognized as the source of it and survive.” – Mark Rathbun
“Squirrel is a technical term; a squirrel is somebody who invents something that he knows won’t work in order to get some nut to audit. And that’s a squirrel. And there are some squirrels who go around and they pick up a fragment of this subject and they go around and they sell this thing like mad. And they’ll just overplay it.”
L. RON HUBBARD
Lecture 6 Dec 1952
AXIOMS AND LOGICS: FURTHER DATA