MY BRILLIANT PR STRATEGY IN 10 STEPS
By Marty Ratbum
When I blew from staff and Scientology and decided to set up my own squirrel group, I knew that I needed a good PR strategy.
I knew it was going to be tough to sell my version of the tech to other ex-Scns, especially those who knew me when I was on staff and ruining people’s lives with out-tech, suppressive misuse of justice policies and terrorizing. Even though these ex-staffers were just riffraff to me and didn’t deserve the time of day, it could be a problem if I did not paint a totally new image of myself.
Here are the 10 “brilliant and successful actions” of my PR strategy:
1.My first bright idea was that since I have a record of being violent and hateful and third-partying people, I needed to create this new image of “Marty, the peace maker.” I figured I could reach out to the most nattery ex-Scns and offer my sympathy and mutual out-ruds, and at the same time gush out some apologies, and that way I can hook ‘em and get some customers right away.
2.My next bright idea was to position myself with some good hats, so these stupid riffraff will think I’m trying to help them, and will read my website and come to my squirrel group. The idea was that by using quotations, position myself with famous nonconformists who took a stand for liberty and freedom—like Thomas Paine, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Bob Marley.
3.Then always put next to it some vicious natter about the Church and Scientologists and staff members. The whole propaganda idea is to make it look like I’m part of a group of famous people advocating freedom, and Scientology is something different.
4.I was going to write a book titled “I Have a Dream” but people might think that I ripped off the idea. And it might be stretching my credibility to try and make people equate me to Martin Luther King overnight. But you get the idea. This is key to my brilliant marketing.
5.When writing on my blog, make a point to always use big, important-sounding words, like “pernicious” and “fortuitous.” It doesn’t even matter whether I know what they mean. The key is to sound like I know what I’m talking about. People are impressed by this.
6.When writing on my blog, always use the word “folks” and, even better, “folk” at least once or twice a week. Like, “We’re just good old folk here.” That will make people think I’m a nice, warm and fuzzy guy from next door, somebody that some riffraff would feel safe sitting down with over coffee and nattering about Scientology and Scientologists without being afraid they’ll be asked for a withhold. (And hopefully this will help make them forget my track of being a raving violent lunatic beating withholds out of staff and terrorizes them and never helping anyone except myself.)
7.Post photos of myself with a warm, disarming smile, like I’m this cuddly and friendly guy—this is to make people forget my violence and criminal stuff. I had this great idea to hold a dog in my arms and sit by a campfire. Then another of getting my picture shown on television with me paddling a canoe. This is also part of my brilliant PR strategy to change my image and make it look like my squirrel center is cozy like summer camp, not a Scientology Church with standard course and auditing rooms. You would never catch me in a standard course room. Not when I can sit in the dirt by a campfire and yawn and dope off after going by MUs and nobody’s going to say a thing. Now that is a real environment for delivery of the tech.
8.Where possible, post photos of myself standing next to guys who are known attackers of Scientology, like pictures of me with my arm around like Jason Beghe. This is part of my PR strategy to let people know that they don’t have to worry about me ever pulling their withholds—anyone will see that with bedfellows like that, the last thing I’m ever going to do is ask for a withhold!
9.In my postings, I decided to ask for money in a sort of comfortable, soft, folksy way—this way I am positioning myself as different from those evil, nasty Church staff who follow LRH policy on registration and enlightenment with the purpose of funding Scientology dissemination. My way has been really successful, too. As I figured I will probably be raking in thousands by the week to line my pockets.
10.When writing on my blog, always make it clear that anyone who is nattery is welcome to visit me. That is my target public—the more nattery the better. Then when they come, sign them up for squirrel sessions, let them natter as much as they want, validate them for each motivator and bit of natter by telling them that this means they are “expanding as a being” and meanwhile milk them for as much money as possible before they find out I don’t know how to audit.
“I have been involved in spreading out tech practices. If anyone continues to do these practices and picked up the habit from me, recognize I am admitting these actions were squirrel and you won’t find any justification for them in standard tech.” – Mark Rathbun
“My earnest advice is: Only deal with or associate with those organizations licensed by RTC and auditors in good standing with the Church; close your ears to false statements made by bad hats and thus really clear the planet. Only then can such power pushes fail and note that not only every earlier power push but also that this last one did fail. And look at the resulting stats and gains when it all came right again!” – L. Ron Hubbard, Lecture 31 Dec 1983