15 easy steps

Marck Rathbun and Jason Beghe


By Marty Ratbum

The following is a brilliant breakthrough on my part as to how I created a psycho squirrel who would listen to my every word, give me admiration and adoration and turn against L. Ron Hubbard.

Okay, here it is:

1.Never fly rudiments at the start of session. You might get some case gain for your preclear, which you should avoid at all costs.

2.Do advanced level actions for which you have no certification because oops—you forgot to complete the course! And really mess up the procedure because you don’t have a clue what you are doing.

3.Make the worksheets so unbelievably unreadable that you drive any C/S into nervous hysteria from complete misunderstood word phenomena. You have to work at it and if you need drilling, take any one of my worksheets as an exemplary example.

4.Draw up a psychotic 52 question “prepared list”—don’t bother using proper red on white correction lists, your best bet is to create one of your own that totally introverts the preclear. The reason for this list is I don’t know what I am doing so just throw everything and the kitchen sink into it and hope (fingers crossed) something happens! Preferably no case gain.

5.Make very sure you take up unreading evil purposes. You certainly do not want to DESTIMULATE a case you want to RESTIMULATE it. So the handling for this is to take up as many unreading, not charged evil purposes as you possibly can and really beef up the bank and then make sure you do not take up the charged evil purposes otherwise you might make a sane person out of a man and that would be unforgivable.

6.If the preclear is in grief at exams, cheer in the halls. You are making tremendous progress.

7.If the preclear wants to give you an overt, make sure you get the generalities of it, DO NOT for godsake, get any specifics. And if they motivate, even better.

8.If the preclears says the evil purpose has blown, even if there is no floating needle, in fact, better still, if the needle is dirty or stuck, then ignore your meter and believe the preclear.

9.If the examiner redtags your sessions, then do the exams yourself. Who needs examiners anyway, they are a total waste of time.

10.Do a random Date Locate in the middle of the session, that has nothing to do with the procedure. And then indicate a Floating Tone Arm despite the preclear being BIs. Perfect recipe for creating an NCG.

11. On overt questions run a two way comm—don’t pull the overt per overt procedure—best to “talk about it”, add a bit of “advice” and indicate an Floating needle because you feel like it.

12.Definitely have as many comm cycle additives as you can possible muster up in a session. Especially ask the preclear if he “still feels charged?” that is a great one. You don’t have to use the meter, just ask the preclear.

13. If a preclear has the end phenomena of a process outside of session—you know in a casual comm cycle—that counts, so go ahead and indicate the Floating Needle then and there and attest them.

14. When the preclear turns up for his next session feeling nervous and weird, squirrel again and start addressing what YOU think is wrong the case, definitely don’t do a standard correction list—god forbid, you might find the right bypassed charge!

15. Similarly at end of session if the preclear is BIs and hung up on the session, just start randomly asking for Out Int, Out Lists and check all the things you think are wrong with the case. Definitely do not do the standard correction list for the action you are mid, again you might stumble on the correction bypass charge which would be a high crime.

“The reason why squirrel groups fail in the first year or two is the alter-is and abandonment of actual tech plus guilt. Here the cases, if handled at all, get butchered.” L. Ron Hubbard. HCO PL 20 Jul 1970

One response to “15 easy steps

  1. Pingback: Service Facsimilies, Out Lists or Rational Behavior – Why did Jason Beghe Batter the Process Server? | Mark "Marty" Rathbun Blog

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